Happy Dance Day!

Today is the International Dance Day. I am celebrating it by watching the annual belly dancing performance at Cornell. I watched the performance the first year I was here and loved it. I think this a day to celebrate. As it says in this text:

"Dance is the original most ancient form of human expression. Through the body and physical language, dance has a powerful connection with the emotional and spiritual worlds. In traditional Aboriginal culture, dance is the core, like a kind of sacred medicine. Dance is grounded, connected to the spirit of Mother Earth."

so whether you are a professional dancer, or a regular person who enjoys dancing or somebody who just enjoys watching it as a form art, got out there and celebrate it today as people have been celebrating it through out the world this week, the international dance week, April 22-May1.

Right click here and save the target and listen! I sort of stole it from Babak. But I think it's worth the reputation. I really like the song. Thanks Babak:)

Enjoy!

That Don't Impress Me Much!
From: Shania Twain

CNN.com - U.S. soldier sentenced to death - Apr 28, 2005

CNN.com - U.S. soldier sentenced to death - Apr 28, 2005

washingtonpost.com: The Middle East - Making Space for Democracy

washingtonpost.com: The Middle East - Making Space for Democracy

Mo's corner: Good news indeed!

Mo's corner: Good news indeed!

I have four fixed facilities and 22 sales regions. The problem is to assign these regions to one and only one facility in a way that minimizes total cost(cost of buiding those facilities+transport cost) You can make the facilities as big as you want...How can this optimization be infeasible or unbounded?! I just don't get it!

--------------------------------------------
3:28pm

Could you shoot me please?
I have been working all day getting an error "the problem is unbounded" just because I had written vector Y like Y[1..dcs] instead of Y[dcs](one Y per dcs)...I mean who designs these nonsense errors for God's sake?

CNN.com - Last Syrian troops leave Lebanon - Apr 26, 2005

CNN.com - Last Syrian troops leave Lebanon - Apr 26, 2005

Constructive Creativity: A Little Boy Who Touched My Heart

Constructive Creativity: A Little Boy Who Touched My Heart

I justordered my iPod Shuffle, 1GB. Chose it over the rest mainly because of its size. I know that if it is even as heavy as iPod mini I will get tired of carrying it around and won't use it in the gym(which is the main purpose). Bad thing that it doesn't have FM tuner like other flash players. But knowing myself, I knew that I need something to hang on my neck (is this the correct way to say it?) and forget about it(I will loose it otherwise) and none of the other mp3 players out there had this feature. They all come with arm bands. I usually make a playlist in my computer and play it randomly so thought that not having an interface is not a big deal. It will serve the purpose I bought it for. will keep you posted about my evaluation once I get it.

Something to think about

O.K. I wasn't successful in communicating my thoughts and it seemed that I am desperate to start a family no matter what! That is not true and in fact it was not the point. Sorry to confuse you.

Here is what I want you to see: In Iran, father is the legal guardian of children. By constitution, children can only get father's last name when they are born. There is this thing in Islam that says that if you kill some one and the owner of that blood forgives you then you can only pay the fine for that murder(which is different for men and women) and be free.(it is basically a way Islam has to reduce the death penalty cases). In Iran, the father is the legal owner of children's blood. So what happens if a child is murdered by his father? He can easily pay the money and forgive himself...Believe me, it is happening. If the father dies, his father would be the guardian and if he is already dead the mother's father. If parents get divorced, then mother can legally keep the children only up to her daughter's seven B-day and her son's 5th B-day unless she can prove in court that father has some serious problems like drug addiction. As I said, nationality in Iran is only through fathers so if any Iranian woman marries another country's citizen then their children can not be Iranian. As a consequence, when the woman dies, if she has any properties, her foreign husband can not get any thing of that. I am not sure about the children. In Iran, the mother can NOT open a checking account for her children. I think a single woman, no matter how successful, can not adopt a child...And the story goes on...

So, you see that a fatherless child, the one who is born through artificial insemination can change a lot of these equations. There is no father and on the other hand law doesn't seem to favor mothers as a legal guardian of children. Regardless the fact that I want to do this or not, the problem to think about is that a lot of these laws were created when there weren't so many woman immigrants and not many women had the economical independence inside Iran which is needed to raise a child by themselves. So as cruel as these laws are, they were written down with out creating a lot of objection from women's side. But now it is different.

The more women advance in the other parts of society, the less you can tell them that you are not capable of raising a child on your own. A child that is created by artificial insemination is not adopted, and is not another man's child. It might be the only way that a woman can legally keep her child. I wandered if they have banned some how or they have not thought of it yet simply because not so many women have thought of doing it...

The concept of legitimacy of the child is important in Iran. People talk. I don't know how they would react to a child born through artificial insemination but it might be better. I don't know.

My illegitimate child

Well, I have only one reason to not have a baby out side an official marriage...I don't want the poor child to be called "illegitimate". I mean maybe he/she turns out to be religious(God forbidden) and actually cares about these B.S. like premarital sex. After all, it is his life not mine so I can not decide on his behalf ... Better be safe. But since it's Friday night and I decided to work because I will be partying tomorrow night I am having these thoughts about my future..Here is the dilemma:

If everything goes as it's planned, I will graduate and get a job either in Europe(preferably Spain) or some where in south America or maybe in Dubai. I will work, be an independent attractive woman, will date bunch of random guys, will get bored of them soon and will not be married soon...Now I want to have a baby. The question is, if I get the seed from, you know, these banks that they have, and plant it inside me would it still be considered "illegitimate"? I mean, all this crap was invented when the technology was not this advanced. It's some serious problem. You see...You haven't had sex so you haven't made a sin...But your child "doesn't know his father"...

There are some legal details too. In Iran, the nationality only goes through the father. That is, if I marry a non-Iranian guy my children can not be Iranians...So what would be the nationality of this baby? He can not be Iranian because they say he has to get his father's and well, I don't really know where the father was from. Right?

P.S. I feel stupid that I actually care or to be honest fear what people would say if I have a child with out getting married. But I am honest. I do care as stupid as it is. "what would people say"...

My phobia 2

Well, I think I have to thank everyone for their thoughtful comments about my post regarding Iranian/Middle Eastern phobia.

I would like to clarify that I totally agree with those of you who mentioned that it is a cultural issue which involves both men and women of my society. I understand that the problem can not be blamed on either of the parties alone since the whole issue is about the interaction between these two and thus both must be responsible for its goods and bads. However, I didn't mean to blame anyone or say that all men actually *are* like the way I described. I mentioned that I have these assumptions about them in advance. I know they can't be true about all of them. But my fear from their behavior and way of thinking is based on what I have experienced/observed through out my adult life and if one is wise he or she will put one's past experience into account for the future incidents.

Some of you mentioned that most of Iranian women are problematic too. I agree. But I am not any Iranian woman and what I said was about me. I don't want to be forced to act conservatively when I don't believe in it. I don't say that I am as liberal as I like to be but I have worked hard to be what I am and see no reason to put it away so that some random Iranian guy thinks that I am a *respectable* and *good* girl and have good reputation!(I am still not over that comment about Arab men and bad reputation)...Now, talking about others' thoughts we come to the third subject that you told me...Being myself:

To be honest I am raised in a culture that "what would people say?" is a big part of the culture. It motivates or prevents *a lot* of people's do's and dont's...So I am sure that despite all my efforts I still have plenty of these thoughts in me. Being yourself is much easier said than actually done...First you have to know what you want(which I believe is not easy) and then you have to stand for it. For me, I thought that I am over this-be yourself in the relationship-dilemma. But after I read your comments, I thought about it again and concluded that I am not. I found a lot of little examples that I have put people's thoughts prior to my values. They were not essentials so one might think that it's not important but I think in a way they are important because these are the details of everyday life. I will do my best to change it but I am sure it will take time and effort...

The last point, I know I am biased. I know it. I think my defensive position towards Iranian men is a valid one as their attitude generally moves along with my assumptions but as one of you said, it's not like men from other regions are not like that. I personally came to the conclusion while ago, that the only way to be unbiased is to see more men..You know, go out, hang out, date...So I have a bigger sample...Better data and then I can see the man not his nationality.

LIFE!

Iranian/Middle Eastern Male phobia

I am facing this phobia of mine for a while now. I have a very severe phobia about men who are raised in Middle East region including Iran of course. I just can't trust them. When I see a guy from that region, a series of assumption about them comes to my mind just like one of these pop up windows you see: that they are not comfortable with issues regarding sexuality, they don't, in their heart, believe in the equality of men and women, they might have sex with you but they are not open minded about it...In general they have learned how to pretend(even to the degree that will deceive themselves) that they are pro-women rights and open minded people but they are not and this can be easily be verified by a relatively smart person who is sort of familiar with the culture and last but not least they behave so territorial as if any female friend in their vicinity is part of the territory and is only allowed to hangout with the limited collection of the guys who are in the gang!

The result? I have developed this very subjective intelligence about them which rules out most of them at the first ten minutes of talk. For that small percentage that I am not sure about, I will be very very alert about what I do. If the guy is not interested in me, I will make sure to talk a lot about women issues and politics and that sort of stuff to see his reactions and in the mean time not to let him know of one single detail of my private life except the parts you can find in google. This later point is very important because if he is not open minded then he can be a very dangerous person to your reputation.
If he is interested, then I have to go through a series of traditional steps that I don't believe in, simply because I am afraid that I might find out later that he is not as open minded as I thought! You have to keep the distance, be relatively formal, and of course forget about sex for at least the first few months if you are thinking about a long term thing( I can't even imagine to have a short term thing with one of them!)...Not that I really believe in doing these but if I don't want to eliminate the option of dating Iranian guys I better be safe than sad. That's my policy. I know it's not the most aggressive one but works for me.

blogher

blogher

BBC - Science & Nature - Leonardo - Thinker quiz results

BBC - Science & Nature - Leonardo - Thinker quiz results

Based on this, I am an intrapersonal thinker which I think is correct.

I have such a bad hangover today. We drank until 1am last night to celebrate a good friend Ph.D. defense starting from 6pm...I really didn't sleep last night cause I was having a headache all night...woke up at 7am, took a shower and came to school at 8:30am...But I just can't concentrate. To make everything even worse, I can't find my Cornell card(student ID card) again! I lost it for the third time last week and now I can't find the new one again! they charge me $25 every time.

BBC - Science & Nature - Human Body and Mind - Mind - What Am I Like?

BBC - Science & Nature - Human Body and Mind - Mind - What Am I Like?

CNN.com - Secret Service protects expectant duck - Apr 8, 2005

CNN.com - Secret Service protects expectant duck - Apr 8, 2005

BBC NEWS | Business | Profile: Mikhail Khodorkovsky

BBC NEWS | Business | Profile: Mikhail Khodorkovsky

Gay Rights Activist Protest in the Royal Wedding | ShotsDaily.com

Gay Rights Activist Protest in the Royal Wedding | ShotsDaily.com

Well, I totally agree with gay marriage and all that stuff and I don't really care if Charles wants to marry a million times...But here is my question: Why on earth are gay guys so handsome?! I mean who stands for us, straight women? To whom should we complain?!

Paz Vega

Paz Vega

I watched Lucía y el sexo (Lucia and sex)last night. she is so pretty. The movie was O.K. but she is very charming. I will see Spanglish soon.

I am in Carriage House again. Juge wakes me up 6 in the morning…it’s barely day at that time. I think the only animals that are awake are crows whom I can hear very loudly…so what happens is that I get frustrated and end up being in bed even more…I am perfectly O.K. with waking up at 7am since I have started sleeping by midnight but 6 is really early! Sigh…any suggestions?

I was reading a book that was talking about positive thinking and came across the definition of self confidence. It was saying that self confidence is nothing but unconditional self respect. When one doesn’t trust and respect oneself s/he would blame and degrade her/himself. But if you can respect yourself despite your mistakes then you have self confidence. I found it the best definition of self confidence I’ve heard. What do you think?

Yahoo! News - Israeli President Shook Hands with Assad, Khatami

Yahoo! News - Israeli President Shook Hands with Assad, Khatami

Human Rights Watch: Africa : Crisis in Darfur

Human Rights Watch: Africa : Crisis in Darfur

It's always good to find new places to hang out. Today I am in a new coffee shop. It's called Carriage House Cafe. It's got several interesting features: There is a big piano right in the middle of the room. The decoration is a mix of wood and stone combined with cute little antique looking stuff here and there.Big windows, friendly staff, good Latte (served with a little cookie) , free internet access, and a nice, low music so you can actually concentrate on work...Plus a totally different crowd comes here so I get to see new people. Moreover, they have live international music every week (They actually have a little stage for that)...if you are in Ithaca you should check it out!

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

I just saw it...strongly recommend it. I had no idea that Jim Carry can actually act this good instead of just making random "funny" faces. Very pleasant surprise I shall say...and Kate Winslet, she was good too! very good in fact.