The Onion | Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
The Onion Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory: "Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down,' "
self opinion: religious people scare me. Why do we have to bring "God" into everything?!
posted by Anar @ 12:25 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
O myg god, you mean you believe in gravity?!
8-0
Mo,
God almighty may forgive me for shuch a sinful belief...he might if I tell him that Physics was always my weak point at school:)
Pantea
I believe in Gravity, too! :) I like The Onion's satire. I just wish this subject was only a laughing matter. Unfortunately, there are fundamentalist Christians who have seized control of school boards in various parts of America and they are trying to force the teaching of creationism in the public schools. I guess these people are really afraid that if their kids are exposed to rationally expressed evidence that contradicts their mythological conceptions of reality, that the kids might drink alcohol, do drugs, have sex, or worse, vote Democratic! Well, these people are idiots! Back in my home town in Alabama, there was a private Christian school. I knew some kids that went there and they were drinking, drugging, and f*cking far more than the public school kids that I went to school with!
1- Sorry for my explicit idea about the Onion Evangelicals, but here it is: "They can kiss my ass not because they are willing to do so, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing their lips toward my butt' "
2- I like the fact that you consider almighty as a guy. Can you imagine if God was a girl, how screwed up the world could be? Ok, Ok, I was kidding ... No, please, ... don't hit me, ... Outch, ... No, ... Feminists, Run, Run ...
LOL
Oh comm'on! he must be a guy! look at the mess he has created on this planet. and he had intenteded to sent us a message through religion and look...after 124000* prophets and saints we are still as confused as day one! to this moment every single time something is wrong with the message...he must be a guy.
*P.S. to non-Iranian friends: this is what they teach us in religion classes in Iran. That Muhammed is the last prophet, Islam is the last(and hence best, most complete) religion and we have had total of 124000 prophets but only 5 of them were the main ones:
Noah
Ibrahim
Muses
Jesus
Muhammed
Sorry if you don't agree with them:)
Pantea
Pantea, I have never heard that Islam teaches that there have been 124,000 prophets! I wonder, can any of the mullahs in Iran name them all? :) Are any of the 124,000 prophets women? I would think that with a sample size this large, stastically speaking, some of them are bound to be women. At least, it seems logical to me. Of course, considering that religious belief defies all real logic, they were probably all men.
Seriously, modern religions tend to place men in a superior position to women. However, I think that some ancient religions were not this way. Archeologists have found many images and statues of fertility goddesses that date back as far as about 30,000 years ago. So, it would seem that once upon a time, men worshipped a female god.
yea right! Can you imagine the world with a gril God? Sky is pink with purple clouds, and watching sport and drinking bear is a sin! (and lots of other stuff that I'm afraid to write because you girls are gonna kill me). ahhh crazy world ...
LOL
David, if we accept your logic (big sample size), then we have to accept some prophets were gay! tell them that, and you are dead!
Mo, you make an excellent point! Maybe Jesus was gay. Afterall, he spent all his time with his male friends. Gee, I hope Pat Robertson doesn't read this. He might put out one of his fatwas on me!
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